The Line of Scrimmage

WARD, HINES

There is a report that Mr. Macho will not play in Pittsville’s game on Thursday night due to a hamstring injury.  Apparently he only plays through concussions.  The foregoing was written Thursday AM and in fact Ward, a game time decision, did play.  Apparently he was made aware that the league, the doctors, and even Congress consider concussions more serious than tweaked hamstrings.

MARATHON

I don’t remember a game even on TV with their endless penile dysfunction and beer commercials that lasted 3 ½ hours.  The length of the game was of course because of the excessive use of yellow flags.  A total of 23 penalties were called – 12 on Baltimore for 135 yards and 11 on Green Bay for an astonishing 175.  It seemed like most of the flags were for PI which can be a game decider and are often of the ‘ticky-tack’ variety.  You’ve got to LET THEM PLAY! 

WHO?

Chad Ocho Cinco (nee) Johnson is considering another name change.  His new name would be “Hachi Go” which for you uneducates is eighty five in Japanese and can you imagine the number of jerseys that would be sold in Tokyo alone.  My suggestion is why not change your name to Roger Goodell and then you could fine yourself.

TARDY

The Patriot coach Billy Bellyache sent four players home for being tardy to a Wednesday 8AM meeting including Randy Moss.  The players were only allowed back in the locker room Thursday by bringing a written excuse from their mother or bartender.

ON ANY GIVEN THURSDAY

Seldom will you see a team as dominated by an underdog as were the Pittsburgh Steelers by the Cleveland Browns.  The Steelers were thoroughly outplayed, outclassed, AND outcoached.  On defense, the Browns with their man coverage gave Big Ben no one to throw to and led to 8 sacks of the PITT quarterback.  In addition, Mangini’s guys seem to know every move their opponents were about to make.  Yes, the Steelers held the Browns to 2 field goals and a touchdown; but, that’s what the #1 rated defense is supposed to do.  Meanwhile, Tomlin’s people didn’t even sniff the Cleveland goal line.  With everything on the line for the Steelers they were as cold as the weather and if Brady Quinn were more accurate this could have been a rout, but not the way you expected.  There will be no two-peat in last year’s World Champion.  Two questions come to mind; 1. Did Eric Mangini save his job with this win and 2. Will those 4 or 5 prime-time coaches who had to be impressed with some of the Brown’s talent be more receptive to a phone call from Cleveland?

QUICKIES

What do Kansas City, Oakland, and Cleveland have in common?  They all beat the Steelers this season.

As if the Cowboys didn’t have enough trouble in December, Tony Romo has volunteered to hold on extra points and field goal attempts.  Hoohoo hahaha!

How embarrassed can former #1 pick JaMacus Russell be to be replaced by somebody with a name like Gradkowski?  Sounds like an offensive lineman or a Polish prison but not a quarterback.  Quarterbacks should have names like maybe Tom Wells or Chris Turner but not Gradkowski.

Next up, football Sunday and Monday, oh and Thursday and Saturday,
Phred
 

“ANYBODY GOT A WHITE FLAG?”

Head coach Billy Bellyache of the Patriots doesn’t mind pouring it on and running up the score like he was playing for an invite to the BCS Championship game when he’s beating up another team.  But, when he is losing he takes the coward’s way out and quits as he did vs. the Saints Monday night with 5:26 remaining in regulation.  With 5:26 to go he pulled Brady, Welker, Moss and others of his starting unit.  It was a long shot to be sure but still winnable within the time remaining.  It’s rather like “if you’re not going to let me win I’ll take my ball and go home.”  Can’t wait for Bellyache’s next low class move.

WHERE DID YOU GET YOUR RINGS?

A number of players have said of Hines Ward, old smiley, that he is the dirtiest player in the NFL and they are not referring to his personal hygiene.  However now he may have added a new dimension as one of the lowest class players in the NFL (see Bellyache above).  Ward essentially questioned Big Ben’s guts for not shaking off the effects he was still feeling from his concussion the week before saying in effect that “he’s had concussions in the past and still played.”  Hines, there are degrees of all injuries and concussions in particular we are learning more about (and the dangers of permanent impairment) everyday.  Ben is responsible for your two recent Super Bowl rings, huh?

WHOOPIE

What an exciting Thursday night game that was!  Half way through it I was tempted to tune in to the Cartoon Channel.  I especially liked the play where “world class (in his mind) receiver” Brylan Edwards, all alone by at least 10 yards, let a sure touchdown pass bounce off his helmet.

HELP, I’M FEELING THE URGE TO BLITZ AGAIN

Pittsburgh, behind Roethlisberger’s sub rookie Dennis Dixon in his first game as a pro, almost pulled off the win against Baltimore.  The Steelers lost in the waning minutes due to a Raven interception that clinched the victory 20 to 17.  After the game analyst, Tony Dungy said that Dixon had certainly never seen that particular Raven defensive look in a game, but he had probably not seen it in practice as well.  The look: Baltimore as they had all game showed blitz but wound up rushing three and keeping eight back in zone and man coverage.  Contrast this with Arizona, who lost to Tennessee by an identical score 17 to 20.  On the last and deciding series the Titans marched  90 yards for the winning score, a TD, with time running out because the Cards chose, in obvious passing situations, all day to rush seven or eight and keep three or four back in zone coverage.  The strategy is not only a loser but is STUPID.  The Cardinals “D” coordinator needs to find another line of work–like maybe at Burger King.

Short rants this week as the Babe had to prepare to leave town on family business.
Phred

CLASS!

The Patriots lead the Jets 31 to 14 at the two minute warning in the fourth quarter and have the ball 1st and 10 on their own 41.  Two rushing plays later, Maroney gains only 4 yards, but those two plays eat up one and a half minutes on the clock. So, with 3rd down on their 45, but with a mere 30 seconds to go in the game, Tom Brady lets one fly deep to Randy Moss.  Huh?  I don’t know who called the play, but I do know that no other coach beside Bellyache would have and no other QB but Brady would have run it.  Jets coach Rex Ryan, though Brady’s pass fell incomplete, felt his team had just been disrespected by the play call and, along with most other NFL fans, sans New England fans, agreed.  Apparently if not for “low” both Bellyache and Brady wouldn’t have any CLASS at all.

THANKSGIVING TURKEY

The Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) has asked the NFL, for the sake of unnecessarily polluting the air, to ban the Oakland Irrelevants from playing anymore games this season.  I tried very hard as I watched the Raider/Cowboy “contest” Thursday to find any part of the Silver and Black that was worth saving.  At first I thought I had tuned to the wrong channel and was watching a group of Hollywood bit players in a remake of “The Waterboy.”  Every element of that “team” except maybe their punt coverage STINKS!  Reportedly Roger Goodell is not about to argue with the EPA and had already decided to take action along the lines of the Agency’s recommendation if not for environmental reasons but for the sake of the FOOTBALL.

HAPPINESS IS BLITZ

The Arizona Cardinals look to be peaking at the right time and regaining the form that made them the surprise NFC champs a season ago.  Kurt Warner is on his game, the “O” line for the most part is keeping him upright, and his trio of collectively the best receivers in the game are at least healthy enough to make the field every week.  And, a new element has been added to the offense, a running game in the persons of Tim Hightower and rookie Beanie Wells.  It’s on the defensive side of the ball that has Card fans worried, and rightly so.  The secondary has talent but is being misused and abused by the so called defensive coordinator who insists on blitzing on every down.  When it is 3rd and long and an obvious passing situation, don’t rush 7 or 8 guys and leave the corners and safeties to single cover maybe 4 receivers; the math and the scheme doesn’t work!  In the most recent game even with the Rams, who have no QB, facing 4th and 11 the idiot coordinator BLITZED instead of rushing 3 or 4 and letting all the other folks fall back in coverage.  In that St. Louis drive the Rams were 3 for 3 on 4th down conversions; all passes and all blitzes.  STOP IT!

All done ranting and stuffed with turkey, potatoes, and pie.  I think it’s time for a nap.
Phred

THE DECISION

Seldom do things live up to their hype, but the Colt/Patriot game Sunday night exceeded the hype. Brady owned the 1st half as Indy failed to protect their QB, the running game was a joke, and Payton’s receivers couldn’t catch. Late in the second half though, with the Colts behind by 17 points early in the 4th quarter the momentum began to shift. As a result of two unanswered field goals by New England, but also two unanswered touchdowns by Indianapolis, the score stood at Pats 34 – Colts 28 with 2:23 left in regulation and Pats ball on their own 20, 1st and 10. Three plays later, netting only 8 yards, New England was faced with a 4th and 2 on their own 28 but with a mere 2:11 left on the clock. Unless you spent Sunday night in a Turkish prison, you know what happened after that: Pat Coach Belichick rather than punt the ball away opted to go for it, but a pass to Kevin Faulk gained only a yard and the ball went over on downs. Now, we’re not talking about JaMarcus Russell or Rex Grossman here its Payton Manning and you just gave him the ball with 1:57 and only 29 yards to go for a game winning touchdown. Indy of course scored that TD - Payton to Wayne - leaving 13 seconds for Brady to work with and time ran out on the ensuing kickoff and 1 play later. Final score Colts 35 – Pats 34.

After the game was over, the TV talking heads and on Monday the sports writers and coaches discussed Bellyache’s decision ad nausium, with a relative few in support but the vast majority calling it on a scale of 1 to 10 - 10 being “dumbest”- a hands down 10. Some rated it a 10 on the arrogance scale as well.

Several years ago in Candlestick Park with only seconds left Joe Montana hit TE Dwight Clark who made a leaping acrobatic catch in the end zone for a score that spelled defeat for the Dallas Cowboys and a win for the Niners. In San Francisco and wherever anti Cowboy fans gather it is still universally referred to as “the catch.” Perhaps “the decision” will have a shelf life in NFL lore. Eric Mangini who is as close as you can come to being an ex NFL head coach went to bed Sunday night with a smile on his face; guaranteed!

THE BIRD

In case you missed it Tennessee Titan owner Bud Adams was fined by the NFL (No Finger League) for not once but twice “flipping off” the Buffalo Bills during the Sunday game. He not only did it 2 times but with both hands totaling 4 birds. His fine was a hefty quarter million dollars and by my calculations that’s $62,500 per bird. Maybe, he is lucky that it happened in Tennessee because had he done that in traffic for example here in Phoenix he would have had a 70% chance of being shot.

OBSERVATIONS

Eagles 56 passes and 13 rushing attempts – balanced offense? I realize that Westbrook is hurting but come on man. Also, they LOST!

Dallas has 3 presumably healthy backs but ran only 11 times. Also, they LOST!

SCENE: LEISURE SUIT AL’S OFFICE

MZ. HIGGINS: “Hello Mr. Cable, what can I do for you?”

TOM CABLE: “Is Al in Mz. Higgins, I need to talk to him about a quarterback change?”

MZ. HIGGINS: “He’s probably asleep but this sounds important so let’s see if we can rouse him.
“Mr. Davis, wakeup. Mr. Cable is here to talk to you and its important.”

TOM CABLE: “Al, I just wanted your permission to change quarterbacks for Sunday’s game.”

AL DAVIS: “What? Is Blanda hurt?”

TOM CABLE: “Al, George Blanda hasn’t been here in years, he’s long out of football I want to sit
JaMarcus Russell because he stinks! Al….Al?”

MZ. HIGGINS: “He’s drifted off again Tom; go ahead with it he won’t remember anyway.” Really enjoyed Thursday’s game between two teams with no quarterbacks and likely nothing to do in January but watch TV or go to the clubs. Ricky Williams was the only guy worth watching.

Phred

BEARS 6 – NINERS 10

Despite the “baseball score” Thursday night’s game was worth a watch.  And, Jay Cutler with his FIVE interceptions, a league worst 17 in all, is looking more like Rex Grossman every day.  How sweet was this win for Mike Singletary?

INJURIES

This is the time of year when injuries loom large for fantasy players.  Some fine day some team will announce that OLB Joe Hardbody succumbed to injuries suffered when he drove his car over a cliff and his participation in the upcoming Sunday’s contest is “a game time decision.”

TV COVERAGE

The NFL Network (who says it’s not about money?) broadcasts all Thursday night games.  This is their own game, Pro Football, and logic would dictate that their’s would be the best coverage ever.  Not so boys and girls.  The graphics showing the score less than half the time does not tell you the down or the yardage left for a first and, at least twice, they missed plays while airing the 9 commercials during a break in the action.  Once they even forgot to inform us that a flag had been thrown until the referee was informing us of the infraction.  The network broadcasts by FOX, NBC, and ESPN are far better and the NFL Network is light years behind CBS.

BIG SCREEN/HI DEF

The best reason to have a big screen and hi def is this weekend.  Colts vs. Patriots and Steelers at Bengals.

BRADY

Tom is the only player in the league allowed to call his own penalties.  Look for the league to give him his own yellow flag and thereby cut out the middleman.

OFF SHORE

Next season’s “off shore” game will be play not in the UK but in Afghanistan weather and Taliban permitting.

MIAMI 17 – NEW ENGLAND 27

The Fish ran the “wild pussy cat” to death and contributed in large measure to their lopsided loss.  Did anybody really think Pats head coach Bellyache couldn’t figure out how to defend it?  Remember the “run and shoot” or as Buddy Ryan called it “the duck and chuck.”  It’s football and the reason Vince Lombardi was so good at it was his players knew how to BLOCK and TACKLE.

Halfway through the season and I can’t get serious this week.
Phred

FU or UF (University of Florida – what’s the difference?)

I know these comments are not supposed to be about college football but this required attention, regardless.

Florida LB Brandon Spikes, in a pile up with Georgia RB Washaun Ealey, was caught on tape clearly poking his fingers into Ealey’s mask trying to gouge his eyes.  This amounts to not only a violation of the rules of football but a violation of sports no matter the game.  Florida head coach Meyer, in addressing the incident on Monday said, “I don’t condone that.”  Really Coach, you don’t condone that?  However, Spikes didn’t draw a pass. Coach Meyer stepped in immediately, punishing his star LB by announcing that in UF’s next game against Auburn Spikes would be suspended for THE FIRST HALF!  What Coach?  What if Spikes had permanently injured the Georgia RB – clearly his intent – would he in addition to his half hour of benching been sent to bed without his supper?  As an aside to the wrist-slap meted out by Meyer, Florida AD Jeremy Foley and SEC Commissioner Mike Slive (pronounced Slime) have been mute.  Coach Meyer also said of Spikes that he was a nice kid and “that’s not who he is”. But Coach, that’s who he was last Saturday.  Does anyone doubt that UF football is the most important thing the University does?  What do you want to bet the Florida student body cheers when Spikes returns to the field in the second half?

WHAT CAN BROWN DO FOR YOU?

Halfway through the NFL season, the Saints defense has scored 6 TD’s while the Browns offense has scored a total of 5.

THEN THERE WERE TWO

Two teams remain perfect, the New Orleans Saints and the Indianapolis Colts.  Speaking of the Colts, Joseph Addai (A-die) should change his name to Joseph A-dead.

HELP, I’VE GOTTEN UP AND I CAN’T GET DOWN

How many times do we have to see that Viagra commercial during the games?  So he can’t get it up, then leave it down until the game is over.

WHAT”S MY LINE?

You’ve heard it here before; the most important unit on a football team is the offensive line.  The “O” line gives the QB time to find his receivers and time to throw plus opening holes for those RB’s to break into the secondary and rip off a 50 yard gallop to the goal line.  They are also responsible for keeping those same QB’s and RB’s alive and well.  They are truly the unsung heroes of any team.  All of which, make Aaron Rodgers of the Packers the more remarkable.  Green Bay’s “O” line is not an elite unit; it may be the worst in the NFL.  Rodgers has been sacked through 7 games a league leading 31 times and 6 times in the overly hyped game in Lambough against the Vikes Sunday and yet he leads the NFL in QB rating at 110.4.  He deserves better and should the Pack sneak into preseason hopefully he’ll get it.

Speaking of the Favre Viking/Packer hype, can we get over it PLEASE!

Enjoy Sunday,
Phred

The RANTS are very brief this week as family issues got in the way, but a couple of items I could not let pass.

BUNGLES NO MORE

The Bengals are for real and “exposed” the Bears for the overrated group they are. As a matter of fact, the charge is “indecent exposure.” Cutler with 2 more interceptions and Forte 2 more fumbles and 24 yards. Cincinnati 45 – Chicago 10

COWGIRLS

Miles Austin is apparently Teflon coated.

COMMITMENT TO EXCELLENCE

Oakland came back to earth and it was no soft-landing. It was more like crash and burn. The Jets piled it on 38 – Zip. Rumor has it that L.A., who has plans to build a new stadium, are considering asking the Raiders to come back. One can only presume that the smog has affected their collective brains. We are told that the entire Bay area has volunteered to help them pack.

MISTER FAVRE

Bret Favre has earned the Ironman Award for consecutive starts and is a cinch 1st ballot Hall of Famer, but that doesn’t make him the best QB that ever graced the gridiron, or God. ENOUGH!

There is no truth to the rumor that the NFL is proposing to change its name to the National Favre League.

FINALLY

The Washington Redskins have brought suit and gotten judgments against fans who find they cannot fulfill their contracts regarding season tickets. Times are tough and you’d think coming from Washington DC they’d be more aware of it than most. Dave Donovan COO of the Skins is also blaming the Washington Post and negative articles for the “lag” in fan support and the team has even received permission to ban all fan signs including some shirts from being displayed at the games. Curiously most of these signs and shirts are critical of Donovan and owner Dan Snyder. Imagine that. How about putting a team on the field that is not an embarrassment to the fans and the league? No wonder the Native Americans want the team name changed.

Phred

United Football League’s Florida Tuskers continued their winning ways with a 34-7 victory over the California Redwoods. The Tuskers moved to 3-0 on the season, while the Redwoods fell to 1-2.

The United Football League announced an additional venue and a venue change as the UFL has completed two weeks of games.  The November 4^th game at Citi Field featuring the New York Sentinels vs. the Las Vegas Locos has been moved to Hofstra’s James M. Shuart Stadium.  The November 14^th game at AT&T Park featuring the California Redwoods vs. Las Vegas Locos has been moved to San Jose State University’s Spartan Stadium.  The November 19^th game between the California Redwoods vs. Florida Tuskers remains at AT&T Park.

“A QUARTERBACK, MY KINGDOM FOR A QUARTERBACK”

JASON CAMPBELL – Daniel Snyder probably trod on many people on his way to becoming a zillionaire, he didn’t just become an a..hole after he became an owner.  But, to quote a line from “Diehard” – “Dan, boobie, it’s the quarterback.”  Before you publically embarrass Zorn by taking away his play calling duties or before you publically engage in a search for the coach’s replacement you might consider recruiting a “real” QB.

MARK SANCHEZ – Week 6 stats for Mark read as follows:  10 of 19 for 119 yards, zero TD’s and 5 (FIVE) throws going to the enemy.  The Jets coaching staff has announced that they are going simplify their offense for Sanchez.  They figure if he doesn’t throw he can’t get picked.  Not like USC huh?

JAKE DELHOMME – Lucky for Jake that Carolina was playing Tampa and lucky for Jake he has DeAngelo to hand the rock to, otherwise 9 of 17 for 65 big ones was not going to get it done.

KERRY COLLINS – I thought Derek Anderson’s week 5 stat line was the worse in the history of the NFL; 2 completions out of 17 attempts and 23 yards.  But, Sunday Collins eclipsed that of the Browns QB.  Collins was 2 of 9 for a minus 7 yards.  What, was he throwing it backwards?  I’ve always had a respect for Jeff Fisher, but Jeff, your season is over and at least one game overdue for Vince Young as the starter.  Time to see if he really is your quarterback of the future.  Collins has never been a quality NFL signal caller and just one look at him and you know there’s very little going on between the ear holes in his helmet.

DISHONORABLE MENTION
JAMARCUS RUSSELL – Perhaps the worse the league has to offer.
DAVID GARRARD – Schizophrenic.
TONY ROMO – Tune in for the latest meltdown.
DEREK ANDERSON – Maybe it’s the cast around him.

WILD KITTY CAT

I’m tired of all the hype surrounding the “wildcat” offense.  You would think it’s the greatest innovation in the game since the forward pass.  It seems to me to be just a variation of the single wing without the leather helmets.

GREAT LINE

The NFL has often stood for the NO FUN LEAGUE but now someone suggested perhaps NFL really stands for NOT FOR LIMBAUGH.
WHAT???

How can you go from beating up on the Jags 41/zip to losing to Arizona 27/3?  Hasselbeck’s stats were 10 of 29, that’s a 37.5 completion percentage, for 112 yards.  But, I suppose when your alternative is Seneca Wallace you have to go with it.

Dante Wesley’s (the Carolina safety) hit on the Tampa punt returner Clifton Smith drew an immediate ejection.  The what here is that it resulted in only a one game suspension.  The league makes all kinds of noise about protecting players, you can’t even sneer at Tom Brady for fear his psyche will be injured, but Wesley’s uncalled for hit on a totally vulnerable player was a clear intent to injure.  The Panther safety should be sitting perhaps for the balance of the season.

Pat coach Bellyache pulled Brady and let his backup QB mop up.  Leading 59 to nil over the Titans, Brian Hoyer was not just handing off he was still throwing – 9 for 11 and still trying to score.  Running up the score doesn’t belong in college football and it sure doesn’t belong in the pros.

SUPER BOWL XLVIII

Commish

Roger Goodell reportedly wants to schedule multiple games in the UK.  Is he also toying with the idea of having Super Bowl XLVIII at the Afghan Stadium in Islamabad?  Roger, this is AMERICAN football!  What do we get back, competitive crumpet eating and team suicide bombing?

Philadelphia 3 Oakland 13!  How many suicide pools did that destroy?

Good watching,
Phred