The Line of Scrimmage

United Football League’s Florida Tuskers continued their winning ways with a 34-7 victory over the California Redwoods. The Tuskers moved to 3-0 on the season, while the Redwoods fell to 1-2.

The United Football League announced an additional venue and a venue change as the UFL has completed two weeks of games.  The November 4^th game at Citi Field featuring the New York Sentinels vs. the Las Vegas Locos has been moved to Hofstra’s James M. Shuart Stadium.  The November 14^th game at AT&T Park featuring the California Redwoods vs. Las Vegas Locos has been moved to San Jose State University’s Spartan Stadium.  The November 19^th game between the California Redwoods vs. Florida Tuskers remains at AT&T Park.

“A QUARTERBACK, MY KINGDOM FOR A QUARTERBACK”

JASON CAMPBELL – Daniel Snyder probably trod on many people on his way to becoming a zillionaire, he didn’t just become an a..hole after he became an owner.  But, to quote a line from “Diehard” – “Dan, boobie, it’s the quarterback.”  Before you publically embarrass Zorn by taking away his play calling duties or before you publically engage in a search for the coach’s replacement you might consider recruiting a “real” QB.

MARK SANCHEZ – Week 6 stats for Mark read as follows:  10 of 19 for 119 yards, zero TD’s and 5 (FIVE) throws going to the enemy.  The Jets coaching staff has announced that they are going simplify their offense for Sanchez.  They figure if he doesn’t throw he can’t get picked.  Not like USC huh?

JAKE DELHOMME – Lucky for Jake that Carolina was playing Tampa and lucky for Jake he has DeAngelo to hand the rock to, otherwise 9 of 17 for 65 big ones was not going to get it done.

KERRY COLLINS – I thought Derek Anderson’s week 5 stat line was the worse in the history of the NFL; 2 completions out of 17 attempts and 23 yards.  But, Sunday Collins eclipsed that of the Browns QB.  Collins was 2 of 9 for a minus 7 yards.  What, was he throwing it backwards?  I’ve always had a respect for Jeff Fisher, but Jeff, your season is over and at least one game overdue for Vince Young as the starter.  Time to see if he really is your quarterback of the future.  Collins has never been a quality NFL signal caller and just one look at him and you know there’s very little going on between the ear holes in his helmet.

DISHONORABLE MENTION
JAMARCUS RUSSELL – Perhaps the worse the league has to offer.
DAVID GARRARD – Schizophrenic.
TONY ROMO – Tune in for the latest meltdown.
DEREK ANDERSON – Maybe it’s the cast around him.

WILD KITTY CAT

I’m tired of all the hype surrounding the “wildcat” offense.  You would think it’s the greatest innovation in the game since the forward pass.  It seems to me to be just a variation of the single wing without the leather helmets.

GREAT LINE

The NFL has often stood for the NO FUN LEAGUE but now someone suggested perhaps NFL really stands for NOT FOR LIMBAUGH.
WHAT???

How can you go from beating up on the Jags 41/zip to losing to Arizona 27/3?  Hasselbeck’s stats were 10 of 29, that’s a 37.5 completion percentage, for 112 yards.  But, I suppose when your alternative is Seneca Wallace you have to go with it.

Dante Wesley’s (the Carolina safety) hit on the Tampa punt returner Clifton Smith drew an immediate ejection.  The what here is that it resulted in only a one game suspension.  The league makes all kinds of noise about protecting players, you can’t even sneer at Tom Brady for fear his psyche will be injured, but Wesley’s uncalled for hit on a totally vulnerable player was a clear intent to injure.  The Panther safety should be sitting perhaps for the balance of the season.

Pat coach Bellyache pulled Brady and let his backup QB mop up.  Leading 59 to nil over the Titans, Brian Hoyer was not just handing off he was still throwing – 9 for 11 and still trying to score.  Running up the score doesn’t belong in college football and it sure doesn’t belong in the pros.

SUPER BOWL XLVIII

Commish

Roger Goodell reportedly wants to schedule multiple games in the UK.  Is he also toying with the idea of having Super Bowl XLVIII at the Afghan Stadium in Islamabad?  Roger, this is AMERICAN football!  What do we get back, competitive crumpet eating and team suicide bombing?

Philadelphia 3 Oakland 13!  How many suicide pools did that destroy?

Good watching,
Phred

#1 vs AZUSA BIBLE COLLEGE

Week 5 in the NFL looked like a rundown of college football scores. You know, where you run-up the score on a weak opponent to impress the BCS. The most surprising of all was the SEAHAWKS win over the JAGS, 41 to zip, but there were other notable blowouts. And, the blowouts didn’t end there.

Week 5 produced a number of close games and last minute heroics also. The BENGALS last TD from Palmer to Caldwell at the 22 second mark pulled out the win over the RAVENS, 17/14. Monday night it was the DOLPHINS over the JETS, featuring 5 lead changes in the 4th quarter. The real nail biter however happened in Buffalo. Seldom have we fans witnessed such an awesome display of offense as the BROWNS and the BILLS treated us to. The final in this one was Cleveland 6 and Buffalo 3, coming on the back of Derek Anderson’s 2 of 17 for 23 yards passing. Yes Virginia, 2 of 17.

THE DOCTOR IS IN!

Who’s better than Peyton? He performed surgery Sunday on the Titans, removing their chance of a post-season berth, but at least there’s a chance we are going to see Vince Young for the balance of the season.

R & R

Is Randy Moss, 1 catch for 36 yards Sunday, taking plays off again? “I plays when I wants to play.”

THE LIFE AND LOVES OF MAUDE FRICKERT

Wade Phillips is not worried about his life after he gets fired as assistant coach of the Dallas Cowboys because he just signed to do a major movie. He will be cast in the title role of The Life and Loves of Maude Frickert.  Sunday Dallas had 13 penalties, mostly offsides or false starts, for 90 yards. It’s coaching!

STOP ME BEFORE I BLITZ AGAIN (with apologies to Ben Maller)

It’s 3rd and long and an obvious passing situation and, of course, the “D” coordinator calls BLITZ instead of rushing 3 or 4 and dropping back in coverage. Do the math, when you rush 7 or 8 it leaves only 3 or 4 to cover those 5 potential receivers. Result: the QB pitches underneath for a first down keeping the drive alive. Matt Schaub, 35 of 50 for 371 yards 2 TDs, and naturally the Cards blitzed unsuccessfully all day. Only an incredible goal line stand in the final seconds saved Arizona’s posterior and prevented a scary OT.

LEADING RUSHER

Rush Limbaugh will not be an owner even in part of an NFL team (Rams) and maybe its better that way. Mr. Limbaugh is prone to outrageous rhetoric and at best he could be a distraction. But let’s examine another team and its owner. You’re trailing from the opening bell and even before the half the score is on the ugly side. With 2:19 to go before the break you finally score a rushing TD making the score 7 to the other guys 28. At this point your QB has thrown only 8 times. After the intermission you turn the QB loose to at least try to catch up right? Wrong. In the 3rd period Jamarcus Russell throws 3 times and in the 4th twice more for a game total of 13 pitches, 8 completions and 100 yards. This goes along with a game total of 60 yards rushing. To quote a former Raider, “They’re not interested in winning.” Tell me, who is worse for the integrity of the NFL, Rush Limbaugh or Al Davis.

Happy week 6,
Phred

OAKLAND Raiders

From Leisure Suit AL to Jamarcus Russell, the Raiders are an embarrassment to the National Football League – and now head coach Tom Cable. At least if Cable had wanted to sucker punch someone he could have waited until he was at some strip club like the NFL players are prone to do. The team would have to improve dramatically to reach the level of mediocre; perhaps those freaks in the stands should be in charge.

BAY of GREEN

Someone snitched and told the Packers that this was “tackle” football. So many teams seem to think its flag. The Pack put on a tackling clinic Monday night and, while they did lose, the fault lies with the leaking “O” line and if the guy who taught them to tackle will teach them to pass block they’ll be all right. And Aaron Rogers will survive the season.

BAY of TAMPA

Josh Johnson (who?) will start again for the Bucs. His first ever NFL start was not memorable going 13 of 22 for 106 yards, 1TD, and 1 pick coming against the mighty Dead Skins. Josh was bested by the heretofore mentioned Jamarcus, however, who went 12 for 33 for 128 yards and 0 scores. That’s a completion percentage of roughly 36%. Rumor has it that Russell is out of shape and chronically late or absent from team meetings – not a great move where job security is a factor.

COWGIRLS

What has happened to Dallas and Tony Romo in particular? He looks more lost at times than Kerry Collins, and that is ungood. At least Collins knows what down it is; of course he wasn’t facing those mighty Broncos and the second coming of John Unitas, Kyle Orton. Either Tony has to get it together soon or head coach Jerry Jones will ask him to take a seat.

BAY of SAN FRANCISCO

The Niners have a new Mike, Michael Crabtree. The #1 draft choice finally signed a 6-year deal and may be on the field week 7. He is a lucky young man for several reasons. First, he will get a check for more money than most Americans can only dream about. Second, even though his holdout apparently didn’t result in a bigger check, someone convinced him that he was not doing “hisself” and his future in the NFL any good. Thirdly, he is coming to a team that needs a premier wide receiver, is definitely a team dramatically improved, and he will be mentored by their other Mike, Singletary.

The BAY of TENNESSEE

TIME FOR VINCE YOUNG!!!

RUSH

Rush Limbaugh is looking to buy the Rams. What if the Raiders sold to Al Franken? Despite the collective ineptitude of the teams, an Oakland/St. Louis game would be worth watching, especially if they sat together in the owner’s box.

FINALLY

Welcome back Donovan McNabb. The Eagles are looking like the real deal, but on the other hand so are the Giants.

Uneventful week,
Phred

Week 4 marks the first of the bye weeks for 4 teams.  The EAGLES have an additional week to get McNabb healthy and figure out what the hell to do with Vick.  Kurt Warner of the CARDS has this week to prepare his lawsuit of the Arizona offensive line charging “nonsupport.”  Jake Delhomme will spend the week at PANTHERS camp reading up on “Quarterbacking For Dummies.”  And, the FALCONS will just rest because if it ain’t broke don’t fix it.

The most watched and hyped game this week will be the PACKERS @ VIKINGS.  Bret Favre will be the focus, but the real story will be Minnesota’s front four vs the under-achieving Green Bay “O” line.  Aaron Rogers is one of the top 3 or 4 ball hurlers in the league, but he doesn’t pitch well from the prone position.

Finally, the excuse to tune into reruns of Bonanza is the Redskins hosting Tampa Bay, unless you had a burning desire to see Josh Johnson’s first ever start or are a relative.

A LOT OF THIS GOING AROUND

No, not H1N1 - wide receivers seem, of all the positions on a football team, to be afflicted with “prima donnaism.” I noticed in the Carolina/Dallas game Monday night a familiar sight that seemed to mirror last year’s Cowboys team–Steve Smith, arguably the Panthers’ best receiver, pitching a fit on the sidelines. TV reran it several times, and Terrell Owens could well have played the role. Last season, though he had his moments, T.O. didn’t do Dallas any favors by constantly complaining to his quarterback, the coaching staff, the team GM/owner, the media, and anyone else who would listen that he was not getting the ball enough. Because he was the Cowboys’ best pass catcher he was double covered. And, because of his rants, Romo was seen trying to force the ball to him, despite the coverage. Result: INT’s, wasted plays, and losses. Steve, the Panthers are struggling and Delhomme is trying to force the ball to you even though you are usually doubled. As a matter of fact. the interception that was returned for a score, and may have cost Carolina their first victory, was just the same sort of circumstance. It doesn’t have to be deja vu all over again.

T.O. WATCH

Terrell and his first appearance at the mike in the 3 games so far was “inoffensive.” But, given his stat line for the first three games – 5 catches for 98 yards, 3 drops, and 1 TD – how long can the “playing nice” last? Toe Odor is on pace for maybe 26 or 27 receptions and 5 or 6 TDs. Whoopee! My advice to Trent Edwards is to stay away from busses.

Brief Rants,
LET THE GAMES BEGIN…..
Phred

There will be no comments this week.  I have been tied up .  .  . as a love slave.*

Phred

*Fat chance -The Babe

The deranged observations for week 1 are very brief.  What can you learn from week 1 anyway?  Some played better than expected, some worse, the defenses are generally ahead of the offenses and there were a handful of surprises.

Denver surprised by showing us a “D” line, and on the other hand N’awlins, though winning big thanks to Brees being “off the hook,” gave up 27 points to Detroit and rookie QB Stafford.  Looks like the Saints still have work to do on defense.

Cutler’s much heralded debut under center for the Bears left a lot to be desired.  He threw 3 picks in the first half and 4 overall for an underachieving performance.  Were it not for Jake Delhomme’s meltdown, Jay would have been the goat of the day.  Both QBs will be better.

I mentioned at the top that there were a host of surprises but one was not, although it comes earlier than expected.  T.O. is unhappy!  He was seen jawing with the coaches on the sideline in Monday’s game in New England complaining about his touches and, while he hasn’t as yet thrown Trent Edwards under the bus, its coming friends.  He apparently went public with statements to the effect that his QB had to do a better job seeing his opportunities down field.  Poor Terrell, he had one drop (not a surprise either) and 2 catches for a total of 46 yards.

If defense wins championships, Dallas, which 2 seasons ago had one of the best, showed zilch on “D”, especially in the first half in Tampa Bay.  Cadillac shredded them, as did QB Leftwich.  Romo had a career high with 353 yards, but unless they step up on the defensive side of the ball, they will not be playing in January.

Arizona, the unlikely defending NFC champs. played like anything but.  They too however showed a surprisingly stout “D” which has been a problem in the past.  One of the big problems in this game for the Cards was the 12 flags that were thrown their way; some of them of questionable variety.  The final stat line reads Cardinals 16, 49ers 20, Officiating Crew 0.

This season is marked by rookies, 2 at starting quarterback positions.  But not all the rookies are draftees, 11 are new head coaches, 11 are new “O” coordinators, and no less than 22 new “D” coordinators.  Makes for an interesting start on the season.

Marinate some ice cubes Sunday and Monday and enjoy the games

Phred

The NFL Season begins for real in just 3 days on Thursday night when the Steelers meet the Titans, proving that “there is a God” and that “all is right with the world.” For me, the pre-season is still significant because it gives us a chance to see the rookies, the veterans who have found new digs, and an opportunity to evaluate the impact of all the “new” head coaches. It’s still football, and for those who don’t like the prelims, they can always tune in to ESPN for “competitive farting.”

We will be writing every week and hope to bring you some insight and entertainment over the course of the ‘09/’10 season. At times the comments will be serious and at times irreverent, but as always intended to bring a perspective that is genuine and not demeaning to any one team or their fans. If you feel otherwise, please respond because I take your comments seriously.

Also every week we will be making our predictions on 3 to 5 games. Our “picks” will as always be against the spread and we hope to improve on our 68% winners of last season.Look for this first week’s prognostications before Saturday.

On Thursday, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell ruled that Michael Vick is eligible to play in Week 3 of the regular season.